it could be worse...

so quite a bit of the time here i'm having a rough time being an au pair.
the boys are 8 and 9 and i've been with them for almost nine months now so we're waaay past the "let's be on our best behavior" mode and well into the "i know exactly how to make her mad let's see how far we can push her" mode.
the parents have some...interesting rules and the environment here isn't always 100 and although it's supposed to be like i'm "part of the family" it's really not like that.
however, it could be worse.
that's the great thing about having au pair friends is we're all going through the same thing but totally different situations. we all understand how awkward it is on the weekends and not knowing our place every once in a while. we all know how difficult kids are. and we all know how the real hard part of being an au pair is the parents more than the kids. it's really great to be able to meet up with them and tell them the latest about what the family said or did or what happened and sometimes it's like alright who has the most ridiculous story this week? it's so interesting to hear about the other families and know alright i'm not the only one having a hard time and like i said before i could have it way worse.
so here are things from my other au pair friends that have made me grateful for my situation...
my one friend lives in an apartment with the family, she has her own room but it's still an apartment so only one floor and her room is right next to the kids, the kids are 3 and 5 and the mom just had a newborn. so anytime the kids wake up she has to go and make sure they're ok and now she has to deal with a newborn baby in the apartment. and the mom stopped working so the mom is at home all day and when it's like that you just don't feel like you can be free to go about doing what you normally do and you feel like you're under constant watch.
so i'm soooo grateful that for me there's no babies. the boys sleep through the night and if they don't they're not waking up bawling. also that there's no newborn. and that the mom doesn't stay home all day. the dad does sometimes which sucks and is really awkward sometimes because i feel like i'm being judged if i'm having a lazy day and take a nap or just chill out on my computer but if he wants to judge me oh well. and i'm so glad i have not only my own room but my own floor. all my other friends have their own rooms of course but they share the bathroom and i am so glad i have my own. i don't have to wait for someone else to be done in the bathroom to go in and do my makeup or whatever, i know that any mess is my mess (not that i'm making a mess but it's so annoying with roommates cleaning everything when you know it's not your mess.) and even though the dad's older kids have a room on the same floor when they've come to visit it hasn't been a problem or i've been gone. so it really is convenient and i am so glad i'm not in an apartment. although the apartment she's in is nice.

i have another friend who's host mom is very outspoken and tells her what she thinks on everything. like when she goes out on the weekends and it's nice she'll wear shorts and the mom will look at her when she's leaving and say something along the lines of "you're wearing that?" (first of all, she's not even her mom and my friend is 19 years old she can wear what she wants. she's not on the job or anything and the host mom should let her be.) or if she goes out a few times during the week the mom will mention something to her like "well that's why you're so tired because you go out so much" (we never stay out late during the week because we all have to wake up in the mornings and deal with children.)
luckily for me, my host mom understands that i have a life besides being with the boys all day and i have friends. she is always asking me if i'm going out and she thinks it's odd when i don't go out because i should be enjoying my time in france not just with kids all day then holed up in my room all night. also she doesn't care when i go out or when i get back. no matter what time i get home she's never said anything to me about it. also she understands that if i have plans or whatever and she's home then i can leave. it's extremely nice and convenient because sometimes (ok a lot of times) it's hard to tell if i'm "done" for the day or not. because i don't have a certain time that's like alright clocking out i'm done. and she never comments on what i wear although i don't wear anything too revealing or strange or whatever.

i have friends who in their "light housework" clause of their contract it includes they have to literally clean the kids rooms. meaning pick up their toys, games, clothes, activity supplies, everything. the kids don't tidy it up at all no matter how old they are. once my friend showed me the girls rooms she had to clean...it literally looked like a tornado went through. now, i hate cleaning. loathe it. but at least the boys tidy their rooms so all i have to do is dust and vacuum. for them it's the whole shebang. (is that right? how you spell shebang? oh well) so although i feel like i have quite a bit of cleaning to do, there could always be more to do. some girls don't have to clean anything because they have a cleaning lady and they're the lucky ones.

and last but not least, the worst of the worst that i am sososososooooo happy i don't have to deal with is i know two girls who while they've been here the parents have gotten a divorce. i just feel like that's so difficult to deal with in general and an extremely personal matter that it'd be extremely awkward as the au pair in the midst of it all. especially with the kids helping them adjust and understand what's going on. and, this is the number one craziest au pair experience in my opinion that my friend had happen...so one day she told us that she heard the parents doing things and she felt awkward (for obvious reasons) but left because..yeah. anyways, a few weeks later the cops show up at the door and turns out the dad raped the mom and since my friend heard it she had to talk to the police and tell them what she heard. i mean first of all it's awful that she heard that then to have to deal with the cops and everything?! so not only did her family get a divorce but that also. and of course the kids don't understand why they're not seeing their dad at home and everything. but my friend can't go home because she doesn't have money and she needs a job. i just feel so bad for her. so i'm so grateful that the parents are together and not going through that. and that i'm not having to talk to police.

so when times get tough, i just have to remember it could always be worse.